We must be a man before we can be anything else.

How to Be a Man

What does it mean to be a man today? How can men consciously express their masculinity without becoming cold or closed-hearted on the one hand… or wimpy and emasculated on the other? What’s the most loving way for a conscious man to express himself?

Here are 10 ways to live more consciously as a man:

1. Make real decisions.

A man understands and respects the power of choice. He lives a life of his own creation. He knows that life stagnates when he fails to decide and flourishes when he chooses a clear path.

When a man makes a decision, he opens the door he wants and closes the doors he doesn’t want. He locks onto his target like a guided missile. There’s no guarantee he’ll reach his target, and he knows this, but he doesn’t need such guarantees. He simply enjoys the sense of inevitability that comes from pushing the launch button.

A man doesn’t require the approval of others. He’s willing to follow his heart wherever it leads him. When a man is following his heart-centered path, it’s of little consequence if the entire world is against him.

2. Put your relationships second.

A man who claims his #1 commitment in life is his relationship partner (or his family) is either too dishonest or too weak to be trusted. His loyalties are misplaced. A man who values individuals above his own integrity is a wretch, not a free thinker.

A man knows he must commit to something greater than satisfying the needs of a few people. He’s not willing to be domesticated, but he is willing to accept the responsibility that comes with greater challenges. He knows that when he shirks that duty, he becomes something less than a man. When others observe that the man is unyieldingly committed to his values and ideals, he gains their trust and respect, even when he cannot gain their direct support. The surest way for a man to lose the respect of others (as well as his self-respect) is to violate his own values.

Life will test the man to see if he’s willing to put loyalty to others ahead of loyalty to his principles. The man will be offered many temptations to expose his true loyalties. A man’s greatest reward is to live with integrity, and his greatest punishment is what he inflicts upon himself for placing anything above his integrity. Whenever the man sacrifices his integrity, he loses his freedom… and himself as well. He becomes an object of pity.

3. Be willing to fail.

A man is willing to make mistakes. He’s willing to be wrong. He’d rather try and fail than do nothing.

A man’s self-trust is one of his greatest assets. When he second-guesses himself by worrying about failure, he diminishes himself. An intelligent man considers the prospect of failure, but he doesn’t preoccupy himself with pointless worry. He accepts that if a failure outcome occurs, he can deal with it.

A man grows more from failure than he does from success. Success cannot test his resolve in the way that failure can. Success has its challenges, but a man learns more about himself when he takes on challenges that involve risk. When a man plays it safe, his vitality is lost, and he loses his edge.

4. Be confident.

A man speaks and acts with confidence. He owns his attitude.

A man doesn’t adopt a confident posture because he knows he’ll succeed. He often knows that failure is a likely outcome. But when the odds of success are clearly against him, he still exudes confidence. It isn’t because he’s ignorant or suffering from denial. It’s because he’s proving to himself that he has the strength to transcend his self-doubt. This builds his courage and persistence, two of his most valuable allies.

A man is willing to be defeated by the world. He’s willing to be taken down by circumstances beyond his control. But he refuses to be overwhelmed by his own self-doubt. He knows that when he stops trusting himself, he is surely lost. He’ll surrender to fate when necessary, but he won’t surrender to fear.

5. Express love actively.

A man is an active giver of love, not a passive receiver. A man is the first to initiate a conversation, the first to ask for what’s needed, and the first to say “I love you.” Waiting for someone else to make the first move is unbecoming of him. The universe does not respond positively to his hesitation. Only when he’s in motion do the floodgates of abundance open.

Man is the out-breath of source energy. It is his job — his duty — to share his love with the world. He must wean himself from suckling the energy of others and become a vibrant transmitter of energy himself. He must allow that energy to flow from source, through him, and into the world. When he assumes this role, he has no doubt he is living as his true self.

6. Re-channel sex energy.

A man doesn’t hide his sexuality. If others shrink from him because he’s too masculine, he allows them to have their reaction. There’s no need for him to lower his energy just to avoid frightening the timid. A man accepts the consequences of being male; he makes no apologies for his nature.

A man is careful not to allow his energy to get stuck at the level of lust. He re-channels much of his sexual energy into his heart and head, where it can serve his higher values instead of just his animal instincts. (You can do this by visualizing the energy rising, expanding, and eventually flowing throughout your entire body and beyond.)

A man channels his sexual energy into his heart-centered pursuits. He feels such energy pulsing within him, driving him to action. He feels uncomfortable standing still. He allows his sexual energy to explode through his heart, not just his genitals.

7. Face your fears.

For a man, being afraid of something is reason enough to do it. A man’s fear is a call to be tested. When a man hides from his fears, he knows he’s fallen out of alignment with his true self. He feels weak, depressed, and helpless. No matter how hard he tries to comfort himself and achieve a state of peace, he cannot overcome his inner feeling of dread. Only when facing his fears does a man experience peace.

A man makes a friend of risk. He doesn’t run and hide from the tests of fear. He turns toward them and engages them boldly.

A man succeeds or fails. A coward never makes the attempt. Specific outcomes are of less concern to a man than his direction.

A man feels like a man whenever he faces the right way, staring straight into his fears. He feels even more like a man when he advances in the direction of his fears, as if sailing on the winds of an inner scream.

8. Honor the masculinity of other men.

When a man sees a male friend undertaking a new venture that will clearly lead to failure, what does the man do? Does he warn his friend off such a path? No, the man encourages his friend to continue. The man knows it’s better for his friend to strike out confidently and learn from the failure experience. The man honors his friend’s decision to reach out and make the attempt. The man won’t deny his friend the benefits of a failure experience. The man may offer his friend guidance, but he knows his friend must fail repeatedly in order to develop self-trust and courage.

When you see a man at the gym struggling to lift a heavy weight, do you jump in and say, “Here… let me help you with that. Maybe the two of us can lift it together”? No, that would rob him of the growth experience — and probably make a quick enemy of him as well.

The male path is filled with obstacles. It typically includes more failures than successes. These obstacles help a man discover what’s truly important to him. Through repeated failures a man learns to persist in the pursuit of worthy goals and to abandon goals that are unworthy of him.

A man can handle being knocked down many times. For every physical setback he experiences, he enjoys a spiritual advancement, and that is enough for him.

9. Accept responsibility for your relationships.

A man chooses his friends, lovers, and associates consciously. He actively seeks out the company of people who inspire and challenge him, and he willingly sheds those who hold him back.

A man doesn’t blame others for his relationship problems. When a relationship is no longer compatible with his heart-centered path, he initiates the break-up and departs without blame or guilt.

A man holds himself accountable for the relationships he allows into his life. He holds others accountable for their behavior, but he holds himself accountable for his decision to tolerate such behavior.

A man teaches others how to treat him by the relationships he’s willing to allow into his life. A man refuses to fill his life with negative or destructive relationships; he knows that’s a form of self-abuse.

10. Die well.

A man’s great challenge is to develop the inner strength to express his true self. He must learn to share his love with the world without holding back. When a man is satisfied that he’s done that, he can make peace with death. But if he fails to do so, death becomes his enemy and haunts him all the days of his life.

A man cannot die well unless he lives well. A man lives well when he accepts his mortality and draws strength from knowing that his physical existence is temporary. When a man faces and accepts the inevitability of death… when he learns to see death as his ally instead of his enemy… he’s finally able to express his true self. So a man isn’t ready to live until he accepts that he’s already dead.

Please comment and let us know if this touches you in any way.  Or stop by our site at http://www.realpeoplerealopportunity.com/ and see what we are up to.

What does it take to be a leader?

What are the parts of being a true leader? 

10 steps to know if you are a leader or how to become a leader.

The miracle power that elevates the few is to be found in their industry,
application, and perseverance, under the promptings of a brave determined spirit.
                                                                                                     Mark Twain

Many motivational experts like to say that leaders are made, not born. I would
argue the exact opposite. I believe we are all natural born leaders, but have been
deprogrammed along the way. As children, we were natural leaders - curious and humble,
always hungry and thirsty for knowledge, with an incredibly vivid imagination; we knew
exactly what we wanted, were persistent and determined in getting what we wanted, and
had the ability to motivate, inspire, and influence everyone around us to help us in
accomplishing our mission. So why is this so difficult to do as adults? What happened?
As children, over time, we got used to hearing, “No,”  “Don't,” and “Can't.” “Don't do
this. Don't do that. You can't do this. You can't do that. No!” Many of our parents told
us to keep quiet and not disturb the adults by asking silly questions. This
pattern continued into high school with our teachers telling us what we could do and
couldn’t do and what was possible. Then many of us got hit with the big one,
institutionalized formal education known as college or university. Unfortunately, the
traditional educational system doesn’t teach students how to become leaders; it teaches
students how to become polite order takers for the corporate world. Instead of learning to
become creative, independent, self-reliant, and think for themselves, most people learn
how to obey and intelligently follow rules to keep the corporate machine humming.
Developing the Leader in you to live your highest life, then, requires a process of
"unlearning" by self-remembering and self-honoring. Being an effective leader again will
require you to be brave and unlock the door to your inner attic, where your childhood
dreams lie, going inside to the heart. Based on research in the area of
human development and leadership, here are ten easy steps you can take to awaken the
leader in you and rekindle your passion for greatness:

1. Humility. Leadership starts with humility. To be a highly successful leader, you must
first humble yourself like a little child and be willing to serve others. Nobody wants to
follow someone who is arrogant. Be humble as a child, always curious, always hungry
and thirsty for knowledge. For what is excellence but knowledge plus knowledge plus
knowledge - always wanting to better yourself, always improving, always growing.
When you are humble, you become genuinely interested in people because you
want to learn from them. And because you want to learn and grow, you will be a far more
effective listener, which is the #1 leadership communication tool. When people sense you
are genuinely interested in them, and listening to them, they will naturally be interested in
you and listen to what you have to say.

2. SWOT Yourself. SWOT is an acronym for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities,
and Threats. Although it’s a strategic management tool taught at Stanford and Harvard
Business Schools and used by large multinationals, it can just as effectively be used in
your own professional development as a leader. This is a useful key to gain access to
self-knowledge, self-remembering, and self-honoring.
Start by listing all your Strengths including your accomplishments. Then write
down all your Weaknesses and what needs to be improved. Make sure to include any
doubts, anxieties, fears, and worries that you may have. These are the demons and
dragons guarding the door to your inner attic. By bringing them to conscious awareness
you can begin to slay them. Then proceed by listing all the Opportunities you see
available to you for using your strengths. Finally, write down all the Threats or obstacles
that are currently blocking you or that you think you will encounter along the way to
achieving your dreams.

3. Follow Your Bliss. Regardless of how busy you are, always take time to do what
you love doing. Being an alive and vital person vitalizes others. When you are pursuing
your passions, people around you cannot help but feel impassioned by your presence.
This will make you a charismatic leader. Whatever it is that you enjoy doing, be it
writing, acting, painting, drawing, photography, sports, reading, dancing, networking, or
working on entrepreneurial ventures, set aside time every week, ideally two or three
hours a day, to pursue these activities. Believe me, you’ll find the time. If you were to
video tape yourself for a day, you would be shocked to see how much time goes to waste!

4. Dream Big. If you want to be larger than life, you need a dream that is larger than
life. Small dreams won’t serve you or anyone else. It takes the same amount of time to
dream small than it does to dream big. So be Big and be Bold! Write down your One
Biggest Dream. The one that excites you the most. Remember, don’t be small and
realistic; be bold and unrealistic! Go for the Gold, the Pulitzer, the Nobel, the Oscar, the
highest you can possibly achieve in your field. After you’ve written down your dream,
list every single reason why you CAN achieve your dream instead of worrying about why
you can’t.

5. Vision. Without a vision, we perish. If you can’t see yourself winning that award and
feel the tears of triumph streaming down your face, it’s unlikely you will be able to lead
yourself or others to victory. Visualize what it would be like accomplishing your dream.
See it, smell it, taste it, hear it, feel it in your gut.

6. Perseverance. Victory belongs to those who want it the most and stay in it the
longest. Now that you have a dream, make sure you take consistent action every day. I
recommend doing at least 5 things every day that will move you closer to your dream.

7. Honor Your Word. Every time you break your word, you lose power. Successful
leaders keep their word and their promises. You can accumulate all the toys and riches in
the world, but you only have one reputation in life. Your word is gold. Honor it.

8. Get a Mentor. Find yourself a mentor. Preferably someone who has already achieved
a high degree of success in your field. Don’t be afraid to ask. You’ve got nothing to lose.

Send us a personal message at http://www.realpeoplerealopportunity.com/ and we will guide you
in finding a suitable mentor.  In addition to mentors, take time to study autobiographies of
great leaders that you admire. Learn everything you can from their lives and model some of
their successful behaviors.

9. Be Yourself. Use your relationships with mentors and your research on great leaders
as models or reference points to work from, but never copy or imitate them like a parrot.
Everyone has vastly different leadership styles. History books are filled with leaders who
are soft-spoken, introverted, and quiet, all the way to the other extreme of being outspoken,
extroverted, and loud, and everything in between. A quiet and simple Gandhi or a
soft-spoken peanut farmer named Jimmy Carter, who became president of the United
States and won a Nobel Peace Prize, have been just as effective world leaders as a loud
and flamboyant Churchill, or the tough leadership style employed by, "The Iron Lady,"
Margaret Thatcher.
I admire Hemingway as a writer. But if I copy Hemingway, I’d be a second or
third rate Hemingway, at best, instead of a first rate Chris. Be yourself, your best self,
always competing against yourself and bettering yourself and you will become a first
rate YOU instead of a second rate somebody else.

10. Give. Finally, be a giver. Leaders are givers. By giving, you activate a universal law
as sound as gravity: "life gives to the giver, and takes from the taker." The more you give,
the more you get. If you want more love, respect, support, and compassion, give love,
give respect, give support, and give compassion. Be a mentor to others. Give back to your
community. As a leader, the only way to get what you want, is by helping enough people
get what they want first. As Sir Winston Churchill once said, "We make a living by what
we get, we make a life by what we give."

We hope that no matter what you do, you are able to take something from our philosophies
and utilize it in some way.  If you like what we do and what we do for others, we would love
to have you join our team.

Send us an email with your thoughts at success@realpeoplerealopportunity.com

Peace and Success,

The Real Boys
Jeff Moore and Chris Huggans

Have our right as Americans been abused by radical selfish minds? 

Recently many have seen in the news that the supreme court has ruled that under the rights of the 1st amendment of the United States, that a group of individuals from Topeka, Kansas can protest during and at the funeral of a hero that has died while fighting for our freedom as Americans. 

I have been to two of these funerals and have personally witnessed wives, mothers, children, fathers, brothers, and many more that are in a torturous battle of emotions during these events.  Torture because they know that their loved one has died for a cause that is out of the normal realm of thinking, but is so honorable that they know that the person that they are honoring has chosen to make that sacrifice for the very people that morn their death, along with millions of others that stand behind them.  But that can never take away the pain of losing your father, your husband, your son...before you feel they have lived a complete life.

The sickening irony of this situation is that the brave soldier that is being put to rest has made the ultimate sacrifice to protect the very same principles that make it a law that the nut jobs that are chanting and holding up signs dishonoring that fallen soldier, use to stay within the judgement of the law.  I personally cannot think of a more obvious way to show no honor and no respect for that human being than to abuse the very freedom that he has cherished and believed in so strongly that he would give his life for it.

Folks, I believe in FREEDOM.  I love my country and I myself would be honored to fight for each and every one of you and if needed, give that ultimate sacrifice.  But if we are going to stay strong as Americans in this human race, we have to balance the laws of freedom with the sensibility of honor and respect.  In nature, it is instinct for an animal to bite the human hand.  But if that hand is the very platform that your life saving food is served from, then the natural order will take that opportunity away from that animal.  That is exactly what is happening here.  The freedom that those brave American soldiers are fighting for is the hand that holds the food that feeds our great nation and all that we are able to do.  If there are rabid animals that cannot reason enough to avoid biting the hand that feeds them, then those animals need to be withdrawn from the kingdom, or all of the animals of that kingdom will lose the privilege of eating!!

I will just put it to you straight, this fruitcake in Topeka, is a rabid animal.  If he were in any other country, he would have been eliminated physically by now.  Someone please let this group know that they are literally tarnishing the very freedoms that we live by here in our great country.  They are chewing to pieces,  the hand that is feeding us that freedom. 

The only way that we can stop the hand that feeds us from being mangled to pieces is to stand up for what is honorable and respectable.  Please comment on this blog.  Go to the link below and comment on the facebook writings.  Tweet us at  http://twitter.com/ RealPeepRealOpp  Whatever you can do to get the opinion of sane people of this world who understand honor and respect.  The Real People Boys are on a mission to expose the insanity to the powers that be in this country.  Please help us by supporting and speaking your mind.

http://www.facebook.com/notes/real-people-real-opportunity/let-us-and-the-whole-world-know-how-you-feeldont-hold-back-your-opinion-will-be-/147768041954568

Make sure when you go to our facebook fanpage that you click on the like button so it shows that you are a regular person and not just a solicited poster.

Peace and Success,
The Real People Boys
Jeff and Chris

Link: http://www.realpeoplerealopportunity.com

Are you happy with your financial status?

Let's reflect on where we are in our financial status today.  Do you live somewhat comfortable.  I don't think it is healthy for someone to have everything they want but do you and your children have everything that you reasonably need?  Do you ever have things that you have to skip or at least second guess in your life that you know would be better if you could afford them?  Do you give adequately to your church?  The charity of your choice?  The person or people in your family that are much less fortunate than you are?  Do you shower those that need and deserve with praise and gifts of kindness?

The bottom line is that most of us do not in many of those questions.  Why?  Because we are in a time of tight economics.  Most of us have to make each dollar that we have drag out as long as we can.  And more often than not, our giving is what is sacraficed.  I am just as guilty as anyone that reads this blog. 

What can we do about that?  Can we dig deeper in to our current resources?  Maybe do a little refinancing?  Pull out some stock money?  Surely I have some equity somewhere...right?  I am here to possibly break to you some unfortunate news.....NO....it just doesn't seem to be there anymore for most of us.  Our nest eggs have magically disappeared.  Why?  Because our economy and the cost to just be alive is have been rising each and every year.  Wow!!...that seems pretty dismal...eh? 

There is only one solution that keeps coming to me that seems to give me a chance in this situation.  I have to figure out how to have more money.  Maybe I will take another job.  Work some overtime.  I have lots of skills that surely someone would love to have me on staff!!  But wait, I already work more hours than I seem to have available these days.  If I take another job, I will have to miss my daughter's basketball practice, or maybe even those Saturday games she plays.  NO WAY!!...I only get one chance to see my little girl grow up and if I miss it now, I will forever regret it.  What the heck am I going to do?  O my gosh!!...I just got some terrible news!!...Gas may be up above $5 per gallon with in the next 2 years....NO...NO...NO!!...I am already struggling to resolve my financial issues at this level.  What is it going to be like when the price of everything goes up even further? 

Folks, this internal conversation is more common than we even realize.  And it is not isolated to only one level of income.  It doesn't matter how much money you have or make right now, the demand for that money is going to change.  So if you want to keep the lifestyle that you have right now or you have plans of increasing what you are able to do with the money you have, you better be prepared to make some type of changes.

You have to earn more money!!  But how can you do it without committing more time that you already don't have??  ....The Answere is LEVERAGE!!  Residual Income.....You have to make money by helping others make money.  It is a win win situation!!

Here is how I do it.  It is simple.  http://www.realpeople.124online.com/  Watch the videos...You let me know what you are going to do to increase your income.

Change is coming.....sit back and let it happen if you want....I am going to take control of my future.  I can help you do the same.

Peace and Success
The Real People Boys
Chris Huggans and Jeff Moore

Life lesson from one of my inspirations.

Today I want to reflect on a few things that I think pertain to everyone in this world.  It doesn’t matter if you are an athlete, a business person, a mentor, a parent, or even just a friend.  It is relevant to you if you are a human being.  As a person who is extremely involved in athletics, I often find my inspiration in that atmosphere.  But I am a firm believer that these lessons are very valuable to the world in general.  I want to give you my reflection of a speech that was given by a man that has influenced me on a daily basis.  Jim Valvano was a basketball coach at North Carolina State University.  He was stricken with cancer at a young age and passed less than 2 months after giving a speech that will forever be remembered in the world of sports.

The following suggestions came from that speech.  Coach Valvano believed that this is what we should hold onto:

Number 1:  Hope. What does hope mean, hope that things can get better in spite of adversity. No matter how dim the future may seem, you must never give up hope.

Number 2:  Dream. The importance of dreams is that nothing can happen if it is first not a dream.  If you have someone with a dream, you have a motivated person with a goal and a vision.  

Number 3:  Pride.  When a person has pride, they will fight to never give up on their hope and dreams.  They will be persistent and hard working.  They will believe in their cause and mission.

Number 4:  Love. Love one another.  We have a tendency in sports and even in life to not express this enough.  Why are we afraid or embarrassed by this?  If we combine hope, dreams, and then drive all of them with love for one another, then we will be full of kindness, morality, and good.  When you have all of these things you can accomplish miracles.

Another set of lessons that I retained from his speech is what I should do every day of my life to live out those values.  Here is what I believe everyone should do every day:

You should laugh everyday.  Laugh till it hurts a little.  The second thing is to think.  Don’t just act or respond, really think.  Go deep into your mind and lose yourself in thought for a period of time each day.  And finally, you should have your emotions move you to tears.  That could be from happiness, pride, frustration, or even sadness, but just make sure you let your emotions out everyday.  If you laugh, you think and you cry everyday, you have got a fulfilling day!  You make sure you do that 7 days a week and your are going to have something special.

Thank you again for taking the time to share life with us.
Peace and Success....The Real People Boys...Chris and Jeff

Please check out one of the things that inspire us to try to give you an opportunity to make your life better for you.  www.realpeople.124online.com

BE REAL PEOPLE AND OPPORTUNITY WILL FALL IN YOUR LAP!: Coaching your and others' children.

BE REAL PEOPLE AND OPPORTUNITY WILL FALL IN YOUR LAP!: Coaching your and others' children.: "The Real People Boys, Jeff Moore and I (Chris Huggans), both have the honor of being involved in coaching our children in their youth sports..."

Coaching your and others' children.

The Real People Boys, Jeff Moore and I (Chris Huggans), both have the honor of being involved in coaching our children in their youth sports.  It is a true pleasure to have the chance to interact with them and have a hand in the success of their development.  It is not for everyone, and their have been times when we both have wondered if it were the best option for us, but we have worked and grown through those times by continuing to keep a few principles in our mission.  Today I want to share some of those with you. 

1. Teach all children equally. These kids need to be taught the fundamentals of the game. “Hit the ball” is not adequate instruction. Repetitive drills are great and with this thing called the internet you can find hundreds of skill-specific drills that are geared toward the age/skill level that you are coaching. I once read of a coach for 6 year old soccer that developed a game called "hit the coach."   The kids thought it was hilarious and they got practice in ball handling. It quickly became the end-of-practice favorite.
2. Play all children equally. Assuming that we’re talking about just-for-fun leagues here, you should be playing all children an equal amount of time, regardless of skill. Take time to make your game plan. Rotate players so that the two kids with two left feet are not playing at the same time. Believe me, it reduces frustration on everyone’s part. Rotation actually teaches a few things: a) each person on a team is valuable, b) even the best players need to sit out once in a while, and c) every player gets a chance to be a hero. By the age of about 8 or 9, the kids who aren’t good at a sport usually know it, but shouldn’t, at this age, be made by the coach to feel like less of a player — or a person — because of it.
3. Push all children equally, according to ability. Be appropriately competitive, for the age and level of the team. A cut-throat screamer at a five-year-old beginner’s team? No. A yeller with 11-year-olds who could go to the playoffs if you win this game? Maybe, if you’re also following the next rule…
4. Love all children equally. We all know it’s hard to be the coach of your own child, but don’t play favorites on the field, even if your kid is the best player on the team. If you’re being encouraging to all of your players and passing out accolades to all of the children equally, not just the most talented of the bunch, you’ll also be the best loved coach in the league whether you’re winning or not.

In summary of these principles, I would like to add one more thing.  Each child that I am involved with, I seek one main accomplishment:  that they reach their highest potential and do the best that they can do.  Each child has their own level of desire and potential and that creates the hardest part for a coach, to find what that potential and desire is.  But I vow that I will not cut that child short by not pushing them to their level of potential and desire and to not expect them to reach a higher level of potential when they have no desire to reach it.

Hopefully this small bit of information will make a difference in someone's life someday.  Maybe a child.

I thank you for your attention and ask that you please check out the Real People Boys at http://www.realpeoplerealopportunity.com/
You could find something that will change your life.

Peace and Success,
The Real People Boys
Chris Huggans and Jeff Moore